Couples - What do you fight about most?

[Morricol61]

But, his response in the car was him trying to convince me he was right, thus his voice got louder and louder as I sat there knowing I was right. My sarcastic statement was meant to jolt him into realizing his loud voice made what he was saying was true.

I used the same kind of logic on my three year old (30 years ago) when he was having a tantrum.

Just because he shouts and screams at me, it does not mean he is right, it just means he's having a tantrum. Didn't take him too long to realise the truth - his actions spoke louder than his words and shouting didn't make something that was wrong, right. The shouter was still wrong, but noisy as well.

 

[Amethyst]

OK I get it. I guess I just tend to be straightforward. "Ranting doesn't make your case."

Or as Wilma Flintstone would put it, "Fred, you bellowed?"

Thanks, makes me feel good when I'm quoted. That statement itself, had nothing to do with right or wrong, I was right. But, his response in the car was him trying to convince me he was right, thus his voice got louder and louder as I sat there knowing I was right. My sarcastic statement was meant to jolt him into realizing his loud voice made what he was saying was true.

Have you ever spoken to a person who does not understand English very well? And somehow, if you talk louder they will understand what you're saying? There's my sarcasm.

 

[griffithee]

We agree on most things except for politics so we don’t discuss it.

I think I would really like your SO.

 

[PatrickA5]

The biggest disagreements come around what to keep and what to throw away/ donate as we get close to downsizing. It can get downright nasty regarding 40 year old possessions that have never seen the light of day since we acquired them. Help me Marie Kondo!!!

Our worst argument in our entire marriage was probably 25 years ago when I spent 10 solid hours cleaning out the kids closets. DW noticed a couple of old toys that I was throwing out that I didn't even remember and got mad. I didn't really have any problem keeping the items, it was just that I'd worked so hard and the only response was I didn't do it right - at least that's how I felt. She's gotten better about letting go of things lately.

 

[unclemick]

We don't.

Of course then there is the infamous 'Yes Dear'. A sure sign one may start and the off ramp is 'the better part of valor.'

heh heh heh -

 

[Brat]

DH is assertive behind the wheel. One time he gave another driver the middle finger. I told him that if he did that again I was getting out of the car and finding another way to our destination. I reminded him that there were nuts out there who shoot at other drivers and that he was putting my life in danger. After that 'argument' he still vents behind the wheel but does not engage other drivers.

My other frustration is that he refuses to throw away t-shirts that look like rags. He just doesn't care about such things. Recently I purchased some from Costco, with luck I can hide the ragged ones until he doesn't miss them anymore.

 

[mountainsoft]

That hit on my biggest grief. My wife isn't a pack rat, but she has pack rat tendencies. I am a minimalist.

Yeah, we are similar. My wife has a hard time getting rid of things. Our house is cluttered with stuff she'll use "someday" or thinks is "worth something". Combine that with procrastination and a tendency to keep bringing more stuff home, piles of clutter really build up around here. For example, we've got a few boxes of magazines out in storage she got when her grandmother passed away 15+ years ago. She has never looked at them, they're too old to be of any use now, but she won't do anything with them. Every time I'm trying to find something out there I have to work around those boxes we don't use. The longer stuff just sits there, the more it annoys me.

In contrast, I tend to be more of a minimalist. Except for things like tools, if I haven't used something in a year or so I get rid of it. It makes things feel cleaner, is easier to find the things I need, and is just emotionally cleansing to purge stuff.

When we were first married I would throw away her stuff that was obviously garbage, but that was the trigger for many an argument. I do my best to ignore her piles of clutter now, though occasionally I can't help myself and throw something out. Most of the time I just try to organize the clutter, such as making one stack of papers instead of a bunch bunch spread out over the table. I really do my best to respect her space and keep the peace, but it's something I struggle with.

 

[HFWR]

After perusing this thread, I’ve decided to run out and get married again! [emoji12]