Handling your dogs end of life?

[retire to nature]

I have two dogs and one of them started seizure 5/2021 three month after my semi retirement. he got diagnosed brain tumor, 10/2022 and he had radiation therapy. I didnt check the image test when he started seizure.

The other dog got renal failure since10/2022 from my mistake and Vet's mistake and misdiagnosis. so for both I have some guilty.

I dont have kids intentionally. I adopted them as babies. One of reason for FIRE was I wanted to be staying home mom for them. I have cooked for them their whole life for 12 years and brush teeth every day. So I was expecting their life much longer. so this was devastating news.

My seizure dog has a deformed leg and paw issue so he like strolling. so we went hiking a few miles a day until a few month back. But they get tired now easily, so my exercise get less too. I can go swimming or something, but I can see my dogs want me to stay around. they didnt have separation anxiety at all. but now if they dont see me if i go to basement, they are so crying.

I carried his stroller all the time walking everyday for 12 yrs too, actually I got shoulder pain because I carry a heavy battery for heating pad to go walking the last winter since I thought they could die soon. Everybody look at me like a crazy dog lover.

so now I am their service human. I help his peeing many times a day by carrying him to backyard. they act still normal but he is getting retarded.

from fall, 2021 to spring, 2022, we had a road trips. I was hoping he is getting better after radiation therapy, I was hoping to plan to go a trip. But lately, both get tired easily or wondering if they get stress rather than refresh. Or wondering if I feel ok far from medical help. They are still ambulatory and looked normal but just slow.

I like being alone, so my interaction is them only. Since my mind is some stress of their condition, my feeling is down and some anxious and I feel goof off time just house chores.

Mainly due to the home food his symptoms were not textbook so Dr's answer was dont know, so there were many hiccup times. I didnt know beet has oxalic acid can cause diarrhea or stomach pain etc. mainly since they ate home food, they were much healthier and calm but when their condition is not good, I keep worrying if anything is wrong. so recently I had nutritional consult for home food, but I dont think it is working so i went back my recipe but changed some habit of same weight amount etc. I cant believe dogs eat dog food all the time and saying veterinary proven and recommended, but they get sick too. But I do rotate ingredient, so I am getting concerns. And my renal dog refuse vitamins even though it is advertised no smell or taste, I can smell bad even. So some base anxious is on the ground.

since i do close care, they will be alright and slow prognosis. I am sure they still live one year or really hope so.

I am grateful to be with them, and I understand of end of life, but not sure how to get more better energy away worrying and guilty. before this, my mood was good humming all the time. But they are my everything, my heart is sore, so I cant do much other things. my hobby is gardening too, but my body is sensitive with stress, so feeling tensed and stiffened, so mainly web surfing.

How was your handling and advice or recommendation?

 

[RobbieB]

This makes my heart so sad.

We never had dogs with these kinds of problems at the start. They had these kinds of problems late (14 years) in life. Fur dull, eyes glassy, can't get up, don't eat, lay down in puddle of pee. The not eating is a big one.

We took them to the vet for their last visit. It sucks.

 

[old medic]

We have had many dogs over the last 38 years, And have had to make that call many times. We took our last pup in last fall, nearly 17 years old... he was born at our place.
We look at it as doing them a favor, we love them and didn't want them to suffer.

 

[Car-Guy]

I've had to make the decision to put down all our dogs over the years. I probably waited longer than I should have in each case. It's just hard.

 

[Aerides]

Better to end your pet's life a week too early, than a month too late.

Some vets will also come to your home so they cross the rainbow bridge in comfort vs. in a strange place.

 

[Rianne]

I believe your pups know how much you love them. We're home every day with our sweet labrador. We had 2 but the senior passed in 2018. We have pictures and his ashes in our bedroom. I still tear up when I think of him. We've also had dogs our entire marriage, almost 40 years. Every time that time comes it is heart-wrenching.

My smaller labrador/golden mix passed in my arms. She waited for me to wake up one morning and I could tell her breathing was labored. I called the vet. They told me to hold her and talk to her. She took her last breath and it was a spiritual experience. Then grief overwhelmed me.

Our German Shepard was a queen. Protective, noble, beautiful. When she passed I would see her at various places. Maybe another dog looked like her to me. I felt she stayed with us. She was a presence like non-other.

They will always be with us. But when they are suffering to the extent it's painful for them to continue living, it's time. Be there for them. We were able to spend several hours with our large labrador. The vet medical center gave us a quiet room with soft lights and furniture. He had a gentle passing as we reminisced with him about all the good times. His eyes were awake, he was filled with cancer and in pain. It was time. I only hope I go in the same way.

 

[Dawg52]

I took my black lab in to my vet as he wasn't eating one morning and couldn't get up very easily. He had been slowing down over the last few weeks but was eating well and could still go on short walks. But it was obvious on the last day that something was wrong. X-ray showed bleeding around the heart from a tumor. And at the age of 13 it was obvious he needed to be put down. So in my case it wasn't a matter of how I let him go or when it was simply obvious it needed to be done then.

 

[bobandsherry]

It's a hard decision and one that you never feel sure of. But for my wife and I, we looked at it as if we are keeping our dog alive for US, that's the wrong reason. After seeing our Black Lab was no longer enjoying his time with us, struggling to do the simple things, we decided to do what was right for him. He gave us 16 years of love, we owed it to him. To avoid stressing our pup we had a vet that came to our house. Friends could then stop by to say farewell before he crossed the rainbow bridge. We miss him but know we did the right thing for him.

 

[Gumby]

I've had to make the decision to put down all our dogs over the years. I probably waited longer than I should have in each case. It's just hard.

Same here with our cats over the years, and I regret having been so cruel to them for my own selfish reasons. Thankfully, finances have never been an issue in our pet care, but there always comes a time when continued treatment amounts to little more than torture.

The best we can do is love them while we have them; give them the best treatment we can, and learn to let go when it is time.

 

[Midpack]

We’ve had to put down 3 of our 4 dogs - 2 for cancers, 1 for encephalitis. Though it was very painful (still hurts) each and every time, we knew it was the right thing for them, all 3 were clearly suffering and we couldn’t let that go on for long. All of them lived 12 to 16 years, so at least we shared many wonderful years together. We have not had dogs since 2018 mostly because we’re not sure we can take those endings again, but we’ve not ruled it out one more time…

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

Better to end your pet's life a week too early, than a month too late.

Some vets will also come to your home so they cross the rainbow bridge in comfort vs. in a strange place.

Another way I've heard it put is to ask yourself whether you're really doing it for them, or for yourself. It's hard to bring yourself to stop helping sometimes, but you have to pay attention to how comfortable they really are.

 

[CRLLS]

We are dog people. However we no longer have any. One of the responsibilities we accept when getting a puppy, is knowing there may come a time when we may have to make the final decision. It doesn't make it any easier. It is our love for them that helps us through it. I hope you can find the strength and peace to do what is best for them, if not now, then when the right time comes.

 

[4legsgood]

I wish I could say something to make things easier but it isn't going to be easy. You will get through it, and it sounds like you've well and truly done right by them.

One thing that helped me was months in advance I chose how that day would go. I called around and chose a home visit vet. If you go with an in office vet you could discuss the procedure and make sure you feel comfortable with it - no surprises. I think knowing how things would happen let me enjoy my time with my senior pup.

I made the final decision when he couldn't use a front leg without pain, back legs already shot.

There are online support services for people who are hurting from losing a pet. I didn't try it but it was nice to know it's there.

It's the last kind act we do for our pets.

 

[pacergal]

It is the last loving thing we can do for our fur babies.
OP--it sounds like the time has come to help your two over the rainbow bridge. They know you love them. Make their passing as peaceful as possible, either at the vets or have a mobile vet come to you. Give your self time to grieve, and when you are ready, there will be other pups out there who are deserving of your love and care.

For our last guy, who developed canine dementia, we were able to take his bed and blanket into the vet's office, DH was with him, while I was home blubbering my eyes out. I knew that would be hard for my pup to see and it would make him nervous, so I stayed behind.
But it was time for him to go, he told us in his own way.

 

[skipro33]

We are nearing this with our current and likely last dog, a CHUG, part pug and part chihuahua. She's 17 years old! Never would have thought she'd hang in there this long. She's got arthritis in her rear legs, totally deaf and sleeps probably 20 hours a day. Lately she's been peeing in the house, but I can hardly blame her with the cold weather that just won't end.
We can't leave her or she'll cry. Like your dog, if she doesn't see we went into the backyard, she'll look out the window at the driveway out front and cry. She is such a lamb and she grunts like a pig when we hold her for cuddles. We have a trip planned to Maui in October and I don't know what to do with her if she's still kicking then. I'm trying to find a house sitter that will watch her in the house, but no one wants even that easy task at any price. Here's a photo of her laying on her sheepskin rug.

 

[COcheesehead]

We’ve had three dogs that passed. One was killed which was the absolute hardest thing we had to go through. Two got to the point where they couldn’t use their legs any longer and we had someone come to the house to euthanize them. It’s never easy, always very sad.

We recently got a puppy. All our other dogs were rescues. We thought having a puppy would allow more time for us to live with the dog since rescues come to us further along in their life.
The puppy has changed our world. They are a lot of work, but he makes us laugh. We are getting him out with others so he helps our social life too.

 

[MC Rider]

We always had cats. when the time came for each, I went and held their paws at the vet to be there for them. A hard thing to do but imho the right thing to do.

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

Better to end your pet's life a week too early, than a month too late.

Some vets will also come to your home so they cross the rainbow bridge in comfort vs. in a strange place.

Great advice.

The common thread here is that most of us (myself included) tend to delay the inevitable longer than we know we should because it will break our hearts to say goodbye. I was extremely depressed when I knew it was time but I stalled and stalled as long as I could and I was being selfish and thinking of my own interests, not theirs.
You need to think of what's best for your babies and if they're in any pain or discomfort then now might be the time. It will hurt for a long time and you'll never forget them but maybe one day you might find it in your heart to rescue another one or two and bring some joy back into your life. The shelters are overflowing with unwanted pets desperately looking for a good home.
Take care

 

[SnowballCamper]

What Aerides said... Google around. DW found a vet that does euthanasia in clients homes (full time, as it turns out). It wasn't that much more expensive, and a much nicer experience for all involved. The vet even showed up in an unmarked vehicle, so no nosy neighbor comments, and took care of disposing the body as well. As this is the vet's primary business, there was no judgement passed at all.

 

[MC Rider]

Do what is best for them. Nobody lives forever.
Pretty sure animals know that too.
They are smarter than you might think.

 

[retire to nature]

Thank you all for the sharing with your stories. I am an RN have worked nursing home and hospice. I kinda regrated how i wrote, people would think they are really need to be down but I am holding them with stroller or carrying. But they are not at that moment. I was kinda asking advice how cheer up everyday. And wondering how long the period, I assumed yours are not suffering so long time guessing a few days to weeks or possible a few months?

Also while in nursing school, I was working as live in attendant for a quadriplegic. I became quad when he was 25yrs old, now he is 84. quads dont live that long, but he was managing himself well, and even got bachelor and master after accident. so while I was working for him, I have learned care giver stress. I had to listen him thru intercom if he needs me while sleeping. So lack of good sleep and stress for nursing school gave me depression. But I didnt like the feeling with med, I took it off and got myself out of blue.

These days my sleep is shallow too due to my dog's possibility seizure. We sleep together in my bed. And while waiting for 3 month check up to know if the tumors were shrink, I realized I got anxiety with chronic worry and stress and possibly seasonal depression too, so I got some med too.

So my seizure dog actually many diagnosis. He fell from my bed and losing balance so I took him for images. And brain tumor, thyroid tumor, pancreatic cysts, and spleen issue. And the steroid for post radiation or biliary issue caused him live enzyme too high too. Also, before put him on biliary med, he had many hypoglycemic episodes. So his case is very complicated.

For the last few days, he acted odd, and recently neuro visit was done. and trying to decrease seizure med. But it caused him more seizure and my interpretation was wrong worrying the liver issue too much. Or his seizure is usually grandmal, but his other wrong action could be seizure too. after visit I think he fell from the ramp to bed. I didnt see, but heard sound. so yesterday, I was concerned if I need to take him to ER since looked like continuous seizure brain wave. So while talking to neuro staff, hypoglycemic can cause that, so I already have dog meter, and it was 66. and I gave him some sweet potato and eggs and rechecked it and it was 60. so I gave him corn syrup. His sugar is funny some how Libre is not working. Last night my gut feeling was his brain got inflamed again, so gave leftover prednisone, and extra seizure dose to stop the ongoing seizures. after that finally he wanted to sleep. I had to go clinic today again. so with my nursing skill, I make him alright at visits, so all I hear from drs not clear with his issues excusing many issues. tossing to the other specialty.

But mainly my extra $$$$ visits to ERs and clinics were from my home cooking food. some times I gave them gizzard, and I didnt know gizzard has much high protein level etc, causing his BUN high and causing cluster seizure. recently, his food may be lower calorie too. and the weather was getting better, we walked 2times, and it could make his brain so tired too. So all the hiccup moment was from me, and I kept saving from them eating home food because cluster seizure is serious issues. But when he was younger, he ate bad/toxic food accidently but he was all ok without visit to vets.

Anyway, how did you handle your emotion to be up? or positive mindset from the sick and loss?

I try to keep they are still with me, so try to be grateful. But I want my body feeling some relaxed. I got some beer, havent drunken much lately. But I guess people try to relax with some alcohol, right? anything else?

 

[skyking1]

One thing you may want to consider is home service. This is what our roomate does, he visits people in their homes so the pets do not have to go through any stress to go to the vet.
He has many customers with several elderly pets that are repeat customers, and often he does two pets at the same time.
The animals grew old together and are in similar condition.
He also provides consultation for free. Sometimes they do not have the medications right and he suggests that perhaps this is not the time, and makes some adjustments.
Recently he went back to a family after getting them another good year with their dog.
This is a very difficult and emotional time. I try to reflect on all the happiness that they bring, the unconditional love and comfort and loyalty.

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

Alcohol makes me sleepy so I rarely use it. It can also make you more depressed than you already are so that may not be the best thing for you.
I tend to work through my stress by keeping busy but I sometimes play word games and computer card games like free cell and solitaire and I love Jigsaw puzzles.
When you simply need to leave the house to get away from the situation for an hour or so, try leaving a TV or radio playing and that might help calm them down. I think the fear is also part of their aging process just like it is in older people.
I leave cartoons on for my dog every time I leave for a few hours and she's fine now but it took a while to get her used to it.

 

[pacergal]

Alcohol is not the first choice if you are already on antidepressants , they work to counter act each other, as you know being an RN.
Perhaps you need a different dose on your medication?
If you are not sleeping well due to being hyper vigilant about your dogs health and safety regarding seizures, it may be time to let them go gently.

It is a difficult decision, but one we all need to make when we decide to have pets.
Best wishes to you.

 

[Car-Guy]

I think the fear is also part of their aging process just like it is in older people.

I never sensed my dogs were in fear as they aged. I've seen them in fear throughout the years, from one thing or the other, but in old age they seemed pretty content with just hanging around the house with "us" and sleeping a lot. Sort of like me these days.