How often do strangers ask you for money?

[Teacher Terry]

My friends DOBERMAN was even attacked by an off leash pit bull and seriously injured.

I am seriously rethinking this whole walking plan lately and moving it to a gym.

IDK I'm feeling kind of crappy this week in general tbh so maybe being ridiculous.

When the weather is bad I walk in the mall and hate it. It’s boring and I can’t walk as far. I would walk in my neighborhood instead of isolated trails unless I had a walking partner.

 

[-Jackson-]

I just came to add a couple of things to the suggestions of self-defense classes or carrying weapons, etc.

Someone above mentioned that firearms require training and maintenance of those skills. I agree with that. I would apply the same statement, maybe to a lesser degree, to pepper spray or any other tool. You need to be able to access it smoothly and quickly, hit the target, avoid getting it on you, taken from you, etc. Major pepper spray manufacturers make inert training models for practice.

The physical skills taught in some (maybe many) self-defense classes are unrealistic. They can leave you overconfident. If possible, vet the classes. Practice the things you learn against some real resistance. The padded suit guy is not typically real resistance. He is there to practice it live, but his job is to let you succeed so you build confidence in the techniques. That is important, but its not where training should end.

There have been suggestions above about verbal responses that range from walking past without a word to shouting "back off!". I would suggest that a range of these verbal responses may be applicable in any one scenario.

There is a defensive trainer named Craig Douglas who runs a company called Shivworks. He teaches a system for this that he calls Managing Unknown Contacts (MUC). It teaches students to build a pattern of verbal and physical responses to people who approach them that escalates as necessary based on the interaction. Ultimately you want to build up enough verbal agility to talk yourself out of even a dangerous situation, but the basic framework is just a way to manage the situation and determine their intentions so you can make appropriate decisions. He may have content about this on YouTube.

 

[-Jackson-]

I find that whether I get approached is influenced somewhat by my demeanor. If I see them first and make brief eye contact, let them know I see them and what they're doing and have a serious kinda look I guess, I tend not to get approached. If they catch me not paying attention or I just look like I'm unaware or like I'm timid I get approached more.

When I do get approached, sometimes I give a no thanks and keep going. Sometimes I give them something. Sometimes I engage them in conversation and see where it goes. It depends on how much time I have and my mood.

I did have an experience in Dallas last year that was a little more aggressive. Was walking in the evening with my girlfriend and was approached by a homeless gentleman. I walked by and said "I'm sorry, I don't have anything". He followed us for several blocks. Sometimes yelling at us, sometimes muttering seemingly to himself. We crossed the street, changed course, and he kept following about a half a block behind. Eventually I told her to keep walking and I turned around to confront him. Going from avoidance to confrontation was enough for him to break it off.

I should maybe add that I'm male, 41, and regularly attend Judo, Jiu Jitsu, and do a little kickboxing and am sometimes armed. I'm not Chuck Norris, or as young as I used to be, but I'm not completely helpless or unaccustomed to physical engagements. So this probably affects my demeanor and how I'm perceived.

 

[Jenna]

Why not get a pass to the botanical garden or local zoo and do laps? Nice bathrooms usually too

 

[Closet_Gamer]

This happens a lot in Philly.

I start with “no” and just keep walking. If they follow me I become a bit more aggressive with my “no” and that usually works.

One time I had this lady who launched into a song and dance about needing money for a train ticket because her car broke down. I said I didn’t have money but just saw a cop around the corner. I offered to go get him and see if the city might have a way to help her. Shockingly, she was suddenly much less interested in my help.

 

[GenXguy]

I would hate to have to drive somewhere just to walk. I would end up not doing it at all. It's a lot easier to walk right out the front door and in the neighborhood and and surrounding neighborhoods, but that's still a lot of the same territory and gets boring, since it's not that exciting - same thing if I take the road out into the country. Listening to headphones or buds is a non-starter when I'm walking out in public. I want to hear my surroundings. The little speaker on the phone isn't something I want to listen to and can be distracting as well.

It seems wearing decent shoes for walking would be common sense. I also wear inner layer thin lycra socks and cotton socks over that. If I'm going for extra distance, I might tape up a couple places where I'm more likely to get blisters on a long walk, with something like Leukotape. I walked over 10 miles once last summer after doing that.

Maybe the idea of the pepper spray would be a good idea. I use to have some of that which I carried with me when biking, but I never used it and stopped carrying it.

If you give anyone money when they beg, that will just encourage them to do it even more. That's why this is such a big problem some places.

 

[GrayHare]

Instead of cash handouts that will be used for who knows what, I prefer donating to reputable homeless charities where at least the money will go toward basics like meals.

 

[mickeyd]

Never...hardly ever. Maybe it's because me reside in a CCRC and most neighbors can afford life's goodies.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

My dad grew up on a farm in the 1930s. He told stories of gypsies coming by the farm and asking for a chicken. He said his mom would go out to the hen house and give them an old hen. He said if you didn't give them a chicken when they aske for one, they'd come back at night and take two.

My grandmother would give food to. (she didn't have any money, nobody did). She would give food to the bums and hobos that hitch hiked past our farm when I was a kid. She told me "You never know why a man is down on his luck".

 

[Sunset]

........

My grandmother would give food to. (she didn't have any money, nobody did). She would give food to the bums and hobos that hitch hiked past our farm when I was a kid. She told me "You never know why a man is down on his luck".

My Mom told me about how in the 40's , they lived near some train tracks, and hobo's would sometimes come by and ask for food. She would give them food.
Nobody asked for money.

 

[Lewis Clark]

I arrived in Amsterdam, Netherlands this morning to start a vacation. Took a train from the airport to the Amsterdam Central Station. After getting off the train I was asked for money to buy a train ticket before I could even leave the station.

 

[latexman]

I've been thinking of getting a cane to carry and learning self-defense techniques using it.

A souvenir from our travels, DW and I sometimes carry an Australian hiking stick when we walk our dogs, as protection from other dogs, foxes, coyotes, and two-legged varmints.

 

[Koolau]

We see panhandlers every time we're out driving. Some hang under the overpasses at street level (by traffic signals.) They often hold up signs. I ignore them.

Fortunately, in our bedroom community where we usually walk, we rarely see the homeless as there are no open-air drug markets near by and few "squats" available to them. It's nice not living close to the drug emporiums because the homeless tend not to travel far from them.

We've learned where it's generally safe to walk and where to be extra cautious. The main area where there have been problems for tourists and local merchants and shoppers is China Town. A lot of produce shopping goes on there and the addicts target people (either for pan handling or mugging - often in broad daylight.) China town was once a vibrant shopping are but we no longer go there, though we used to love the area. Kinda sad, really. I consider it a matter of will to deal with it and there is little will to do so, apparently. Most self defense is illegal here in the Islands so we simply stay away from known areas or those our gut warns us about.

 

[tryan]

They wouldn't pan handle if it didn't work.

Funny story from the contractor. Labor is REALLY tight here. Good people for grunt work are hard to find. So my contractor would stop and ask pan handlers to work for the day ..."I'll pay cash at the end of the day". One guy took him up on the offer. Did a good days work and got paid in cash. Contractor "where will you be tomorrow, I'll pick you up" pan handler says "I'll be at my corner with my sign. I ain't working for you. I MAKE MORE working my corner than you pay."

Point being if nobody gave them $$ they would go to work.

 

[badatmath]

Why not get a pass to the botanical garden or local zoo and do laps? Nice bathrooms usually too

Unique idea thanks. Not sure what they have for summer hours.

 

[WWDog]

Many years ago (70s) I went to New Orleans for a week in the spring. When I first got there I was hit left and right by people for money. I just started doing the same as they were doing and I was left alone!

 

[athena53]

A new story- for me, at least. I was in Belize City last week looking for an ATM and a woman approached me and asked if I could give her some money to get groceries for her 8 children. EIGHT CHILDREN? I considered sitting her down and asking her if she knew where babies came from or suggesting that she ask for support from the kids' father(s).

If this was true, two things are sad: having that many babies when you can't support them and not getting enough (or anything) from the sperm donors.

I told her I didn't have any cash, which was pretty much true. I had about $60 in Guatemalan quetzales but we were in Belize, which is why I was trying to find and ATM.

LOL.... We were coming home from one of our racing events and hit a store for a bathroom break and munchies. Pulling an open trailer with the race bike, coolers and camping gear... A guy walks up to me asking for some money to get something to eat... I offered to make him a sandwich as I was getting stuff out to do just that... He declined it... I said your just wanting something to drink... yup..... so dug down and handed him a beer...He didn't even say thanks, just wandered around behind the store.

DH and I once saw a scruffy-looking guy walk into a grocery store in CA and buy a 6-pack of beer, carefully counting out exact change. DH figured that he knew exactly how much it cost including tax and as soon as he raised enough through panhandling he headed to the store.

 

[Midpack]

I see people with signs at intersections, or in front of stores occasionally, but it's very rare that I'm approached directly (since we left Chicagoland). The thing is I would give them some $ if I was certain they were needy, but I know there are scammers asking for money, so I usually only give through organized charities.

 

[Texas Proud]

Like others have said, not many walking up as I do not go to those places anymore and have not traveled to poor countries since the pandemic started... but see a lot of beggers at street corners... I usually ignore them but one guy a few days ago was standing in front of me blocking me from going... I shook my head no and he finally moved...

 

[marko]

A friend was a priest. He'd have about 3 or 4 people every week come to the rectory asking for money for food...usually with a kid or two in tow.

He'd tell them to go to the diner across the street, get anything they wanted and to tell them that he sent them and there'd be no charge.

Every other week he'd go to the diner as ask how much he owed....the owner said that nobody ever came in. Not one. And the owner wasn't trying to be charitable, he was serious...no one ever came in for a meal.

 

[braumeister]

My all time favorite was a few years ago when I saw a guy standing at an intersection with his cardboard sign asking for help and at the bottom of the sign he had written "Bitcoin accepted".

 

[street]

Never have been asked for money. I don't think I have ever seen any people with signs in my area asking for money.
I do see a few asking for rides along roads but that is very rare.

 

[folivier]

Years ago DW and I flew into Roatan, Honduras for a dive trip. Back then there was no real security other than keeping people and cows off the runway. A group of young kids were swarming our group. DW gave one of them a stick of gum. She quickly became the target as all of them swarmed her. Kinda funny since they were young kids just looking for a free treat.

 

[athena53]

Years ago DW and I flew into Roatan, Honduras for a dive trip. Back then there was no real security other than keeping people and cows off the runway. A group of young kids were swarming our group. DW gave one of them a stick of gum. She quickly became the target as all of them swarmed her. Kinda funny since they were young kids just looking for a free treat.

That happened to a kind-hearted coworker on her first business trip to India. She gave money to a beggar and was swarmed with so many of them that the police had to call them off. I always felt bad ignoring them (they'd even tap on my car window as we were stopped in traffic) but I knew it was the wise thing to do.

 

[mystang52]

Years ago DW and I flew into Roatan, Honduras for a dive trip. Back then there was no real security other than keeping people and cows off the runway. A group of young kids were swarming our group. DW gave one of them a stick of gum. She quickly became the target as all of them swarmed her. Kinda funny since they were young kids just looking for a free treat.

That happened to a kind-hearted coworker on her first business trip to India. She gave money to a beggar and was swarmed with so many of them that the police had to call them off. I always felt bad ignoring them (they'd even tap on my car window as we were stopped in traffic) but I knew it was the wise thing to do.

Years ago we vacationed for a week in Haiti - yes you read that right. This was 1975 or so, and it was safe for tourists. Walking in the village next to our hotel, we likewise gave a genuinely small amount of $$ to our "guide" and also became instantaneously swarmed. Like your friend in India, the local policeman seemingly came out of nowhere to chase them away. DW is fluent in French, and after thanking the policeman he replied it would not be wise to stroll the village unescorted. We never felt unsafe, but heeded his advice.