Online Dating Sites You Didn't Sign Up For

[blueskyk]

This has now happened to me twice. Someone signs up for an online dating service using my email. The first one was Match and second one is Hunt for Dates (which, it appears, matches up people who enjoy hunting & fishing).


I start getting all these emails titled "Here's your match" and "Mark just logged on and wants to chat", etc. I met DH on Match 20 years ago and we've been happily married every since. I never used any dating site since.


I then contact customer service, letting them know someone else is using my email and the accounts are quickly closed.


What's up with this?

 

[RetireeRobert]

How many people in your circle know your email address? Anyone out there you suspect would want to prank you? Or maybe it is just a coincidental error by someone who tried to really sign up for dating site and entered incorrect email address---though that seems unlikely to me.

 

[blueskyk]

I purposely do not have a big social media presence. I never accept friend requests from anyone I don't actually know in person. On FB, I have exactly 7 friends which is more than enough for me.


If it had only happened once, I might go with the incorrect email address inadvertently being entered but not twice. And even then, if someone signs up for a site and never gets a confirmation email, you would think they would double-check and correct. Nor does this person ever get any responses.

The only thing I can think of is if someone wants to sign up for an online dating service to "look" but not communicate. I wonder, of course, if something more worrisome is afoot but don't want to change my email address and update the info for all my accounts. Both times, everything seems to be centered in the GA area. I don't know anyone in Georgia.

It's just weird.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

My theory is it's the dating site and not a someone. Trying to entice you to sign you again.

Among other unscrupulous behavior, they have been caught using employees for fake profiles and displaying closed accounts as still active.

They want your money.

 

[Sunset]

Change your email password to something hard, and change the security question answers to nonsense answers (record them).

It's possible someone has your email account info, signs up late at night and confirms the email (if the service does that), then deletes the emails so you don't see them.

It won't hurt to change your login information, even if this is not how it's done.

I did miss the part where OP said she had been on Match 20 yrs ago, so yeah could be the site trying to woo her back.

 

[latexman]

Someone must have a very similar email address, or something. It’s a pain, but you may want to change yours to something more unique and difficult.

I had a somewhat similar issue with my CU account. Twice I was notified someone attempted to get in but couldn’t get the PW right. If they had, 2FA would have stopped them. I called the CU and they said it was someone with almost the same user id. I took my user id and added some complexity to it. Problem solved! It’s been 2-3 years, and no notifications.

 

[tmm99]

Anything you do nowadays, they send you an email to verify if it's really you, so I am thinking... maybe someone has the password to your email acount??

One thing you could do - create a fake email account, set up a profile on match.com or hunt for date using your fake account, and see if they ask you go to your fake email account to verify your dating account. If it asks you go to your fake account to verify, then you know someone has your password to get into your real account...

 

[latexman]

You may be the target of a phishing attempt. Two emails with the same M.O. It could be. Don’t click any links in those emails!

 

[blueskyk]

When I've contacted customer service at Match and Hunt for Dates, they would not share any info about whoever set up accounts with my email so I don't know if they had similar email or not. My email does not contain anything related to my name. However, I've had it a long time and maybe its time to just change it and update all my accounts accordingly. It's a pain, but I think I'll feel better leaving my current one as a dead end. I change the password on my email account (and all my other accounts) several times a year and use 2FA for everything I can but perhaps nowadays its not quite enough.


Perhaps this will become one of my new security practices - periodically closing down my email and opening a new one.


ETA: I like the idea of creating my own fake email to check whether or not the sites require the email to be validated but do not want to explain to DH any more involvement in dating sites than I already have!

 

[tmm99]

...


ETA: I like the idea of creating my own fake email to check whether or not the sites require the email to be validatedbut do not want to explain to DH any more involvement in dating sites than I already have!

 

[RetireeRobert]

ETA: I like the idea of creating my own fake email to check whether or not the sites require the email to be validated but do not want to explain to DH any more involvement in dating sites than I already have!

I was just going to ask if you are married. And if not, suggest maybe just go ahead and use those dating site connections!

 

[Letj]

This has now happened to me twice. Someone signs up for an online dating service using my email. The first one was Match and second one is Hunt for Dates (which, it appears, matches up people who enjoy hunting & fishing).


I start getting all these emails titled "Here's your match" and "Mark just logged on and wants to chat", etc. I met DH on Match 20 years ago and we've been happily married every since. I never used any dating site since.


I then contact customer service, letting them know someone else is using my email and the accounts are quickly closed.


What's up with this?

Someone might be pranking you. A friend of mine pranked his 88 year old dad and his brother and he thinks it’s hilarious.

 

[Ready]

My guess is that the email is really a phishing email to try and collect your personal information for some type of scam. Legitimate dating sites require that you verify your email address by sending you a link to your email that you have to click through to confirm. Label the email address as spam and that should be the last time you see anything from them.

 

[RobbieB]

Yeah, phishing.

And never respond to unknown emails or even call back. You call, you're verified.

Live meat.

 

[blueskyk]

Several have mentioned the phishing possibility but I’m not following the logic in this situation. I’m familiar with the idea of phishing (or catfishing) any online dating profile but I think the usual premise is the target really is looking to connect with a party on the site and motivated to respond.

Anyhoo, I did change my email password immediately because that’s a quick easy fix. And, I never actually opened any of the emails, never mind click on any links they may contain.

I’m now into the idea of creating a new email address which kind of feels like moving to a new digital place. I’m taking this opportunity to clean my digital house and only update with my new email those spots that are most important - sort of a digital downsizing.

Mark, Chad, Doug, Robert, Scot and Dave will recover and move on, I’m sure.

I thought the idea of entering nonsensical answers to security questions was brilliant!

 

[triangle]

As others have alluded, if your email username is "common", then you will attract a lot of what would have otherwise been a legitimate emails delivered to the wrong address caused by typos. For example if you are bluesky@domain or as a better example you are "Jason Thomas" using "jthomas"@domain then expect to receive emails with display names like James Thomas, John Thomason, Justin Thomas, etc, who did not correctly input jthoma@domain, jthomas334@domain, etc. correctly. Better to have some nonsensical username to avoid typos and the spam generators.

(But sometimes misdirected emails can be interesting, as I was invited to bureau of land management party out west that I wish I could have attended, lol. Though it was later canceled because of the delta variant).

 

[donheff]

I have gotten mail messages from eHarmony offering me unsolicited bliss. I assume they got me email address from a broker and are marketing their service. It is at the email address I use for signing up for stuff.

 

[latexman]

Several have mentioned the phishing possibility but I’m not following the logic in this situation. I’m familiar with the idea of phishing (or catfishing) any online dating profile but I think the usual premise is the target really is looking to connect with a party on the site and motivated to respond.

Phishing is not anything like catfishing.

Catfishing is the process of luring someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona.

Phishing is the fraudulent practice of sending emails purporting to be from reputable companies in order to induce individuals to reveal personal information, such as passwords and credit card numbers.

 

[The Cosmic Avenger]

If you were already signed up, I'm thinking it's someone who thinks that email address is theirs. You'd think no one could be that dumb, since the address would never work for them, but I have lots of emails to my vanity domain to prove otherwise. And yes, I know the difference between phishing and someone using the wrong email address. The cases I'm thinking of are all signups for sites (like gyms or car rentals) with very specific information that's not mine, and it doesn't ask me for any information. If anything, I get way too much personal information about these idiots just by email; if the site is definitely legit, sometimes I reset the password and close the account just to stop the emails.

 

[CaptTom]

I'm in the "inadvertent typo" camp.

I get these all the time. I have one account that's my real name @ gmail. There's another guy out there with the same name. I know he goes on diving vacations, has a PADI certification, bought a new garage door a couple of years ago, and I occasionally get responses to bids he's submitted for jobs (I won't divulge his line of work.) I assume he picked a similar but different e-mail account, since "our" name was already taken, and people mis-type it when he gives it to them over the phone.

I'd never change my e-mail account over a couple of misdirected or spam messages. There's no possible harm if you don't respond and don't click on anything.

 

[RunningBum]

I wouldn't go thru the hassle of changing my email for this. It's not just a matter of updating account profiles, but also telling friends, and some of those people will miss it continue to use the old. As Ready says, label them as spam and that's where all subsequent emails should go. Or set up a filter to block them completely. Why would you go to any more effort?

 

[Z3Dreamer]

Most days I get an email notification from Zoosk that there are more than 20 singles they think I will like. Saturday's email let me know that one was Staciestyxx in a town called Loganville (never heard of it). At 52, she is quite the young hottee. Other days, I have more than 20 singles in Chattanooga which is about 5 hours away. I must be quite a catch!

Seriously, I think it is common for these sites to send you emails to get you interested. Maybe they purchased my info.

 

[Sunset]

I'm in the "inadvertent typo" camp.

I get these all the time. I have one account that's my real name @ gmail. There's another guy out there with the same name. I know he goes on diving vacations, has a PADI certification, bought a new garage door a couple of years ago, and I occasionally get responses to bids he's submitted for jobs (I won't divulge his line of work.) I assume he picked a similar but different e-mail account, since "our" name was already taken, and people mis-type it when he gives it to them over the phone.

I'd never change my e-mail account over a couple of misdirected or spam messages. There's no possible harm if you don't respond and don't click on anything.

I have the same "issue" with a fellow in the UK, he is pretty good at his job, so he gets lots of meeting and offers for jobs.
I used to reply to the people telling them they had the wrong "Joe" , many responded and thanked me, but after doing this 6-8 times per year for 4 years, I have stopped.
It's up to him to hand out his correct email.

This has however alerted me to the issue of telling someone my email over the phone, when important I tell them and then I spell it out.

I would not change my email over this, just mark them as spam/junk or create a rule in the email client to auto-delete anything from the match making sites.

 

[Amethyst]

The unsolicited-bliss emails are all aimed at some male version of me I also get emails from legit sites, Eharmony, Match, etc. offering "Senior" matches (how insulting. Why would they think I want an old man? lol already have one of those).

Spam filter catches all of the above, so I only see "Beautiful Thai Girls for U" (or eager Russian women, etc.) when I check the Junk folder.

I have gotten mail messages from eHarmony offering me unsolicited bliss. I assume they got me email address from a broker and are marketing their service. It is at the email address I use for signing up for stuff.

 

[CaptTom]

I have the same "issue" with a fellow in the UK, he is pretty good at his job, so he gets lots of meeting and offers for jobs.

Maybe you could pick up a part-time retirement gig and try out whatever it is he does for a living?

I thought about ordering a replacement for "my" PADI certification card, so I could get tanks filled. But I've made it this far in life without ever having to get a tank filled, so I figure I'll make it the rest of the way, too. It's probably too late to take up SCUBA now.