Prepaid Funerals

[PatrickA5]

My DW and I bought our side-by-side plots last week. That was a pretty expensive little piece of land that I calculated was a little north of $3 million per acre. I think there might be some profit in there somewhere.

 

[Blue Collar Guy]

My DW and I bought our side-by-side plots last week. That was a pretty expensive little piece of land that I calculated was a little north of $3 million per acre. I think there might be some profit in there somewhere.

Where my father and sister are buried , you can resell vacant unused plots for a LARGE profit. They are running out of room and some people want a plot in the same cemetery as their departed loved ones.

 

[Scuba]

Have not done ours yet.



But mine will be very straightforward. Throw what is left of me in a cardboard box and chuck it in an incinerator. No fancy coffin, no limos, flowers, receptions. Don't believe in it. No funeral home urn either. Scatter the ashes.

End of.

+1. No urn for me either. Ziploc bag to hold ashes before scattering is good for me. And a celebration for loved ones, as positive as possible.

 

[Fedup]

We prepaid plots for my mom and dad. It was inexpensive years ago, $2400 for a plot near the ocean where all the rich people were buried. But the casket was expensive, it was like $12,000 for my mom. I don't remember funeral cost but I think we divided the total cost to all our siblings so it was bearable. But this is money back in 20 years plus time frame. The plot was purchased at least 30 years plus time frame. Probably costs at least $10k now.
For my husband his life insurance from his work place will cover funeral cost. Plus his parents both were cremated so that would be the way to go for him. The funeral home scattered their ashes to the green grass of England. For me, I'm easy. Once I'm dead, I'm dead. Cremation or do whatever my kids want is good with me. But I'm not into prepay anything. I can't bear to think about it.

 

[Koolau]

Now living in the Islands, our thinking on the whole subject of funerals and "disposal" has changed. All 4 parents are interred in "drawers" at an above-ground mausoleum on the mainland. An interesting story is that this particular structure was hit by a tornado after our parents internment! Damage was significant and many of the decorative seals (equivalent to grave stones but placed over the opening to the "drawer") were ripped off, broken in some cases and scattered. None of parents' seals were damaged, but that was just luck.

In the Islands, cremation is more and more common since cemetery space is at a premium. A fairly common practice following cremation is to place the urn (or plastic box!) in a purpose-built "faith appropriate" cubby-hole in a beautiful building. One of these buildings recently went bankrupt! Doh! It's sort of like the "cosmos" or something telling us to figure out a "better way."

We believe we have hit on the perfect solution (which will also save money.) There is a truly beautiful "all purpose" (burial, mausoleum, or urn storage) "all faith" (but segregated!) cemetery. It even has a pet cemetery! We figure spreading our ashes in the Pacific is SO cliche', SO '90's! We want our ashes spread over the pet cemetery! YMMV

 

[kcowan]

+1. No urn for me either. Ziploc bag to hold ashes before scattering is good for me. And a celebration for loved ones, as positive as possible.

My Bro was in an urn after the cardboard casket burned really well. We had it on a table in our hosted celebration at The Jolly Miller tavern. I announced that this was the first and last free drink they would get from Bro.

His will stated that he wanted the urn interred with our parents. That took a few months and many bucks to arrange.

 

[Danmar]

My mother bought her Urn at the same time she bought my father's when he died in 2006. I now have it in the back of a closet (I think). Very nice Urn, metal and quite heavy. Will last a long time since it is going in a Mauseleum.

 

[Morricol61]

This is a topic on my mind at the moment. My sister's partner died a couple of weeks ago and the family unable to afford a burial, had the body cremated for around $2,500 with the ashes returned to them for interment or disposal. There will be a memorial for him tomorrow at his favourite pub, in lieu of a service and wake. As he was a regular, the licencee is providing free catering and mourners will buy their own drinks. At the end of the day, it was probably their only option but the family and friends will still feel as though they provided him with a good "send off".

My FIL assured his sons that he'd pre-paid his own funeral some 30 years ago, after their mother's death but when he died in 2012, we could not find a contract or any evidence of a pre-paid funeral and the town's only funeral provider had no record of it either. So in our case a pre-paid funeral provided no benefit to the family at all. Perhaps he meant he'd paid for the burial plot, we'll never know.

Both these deaths were sudden and unexpected and very stressful for those left behind.

 

[Blue Collar Guy]

I have been to a few funerals where the "hat" was passed. I remember one family didnt claim the body for a while as they were scrounging up funds.

 

[braumeister]

My family doesn't have the memorial gene. Dad told me to scatter his ashes over his favorite fishing grounds in Jamaica Bay. Mom said to put hers in the same place. Neither wanted any kind of ceremony.

When my father died in 1996, I contacted the only local funeral home that handled cremations. Simplest possible arrangement. Pick up from hospital, deliver to crematorium, then hand me the ziplock bag of ashes. $1,770.

When my mother died in 2012, I did the same thing, but with a newer funeral home that did its own cremations. $2,370.

The increase was less than the rate of inflation, so I got a better deal the second time. Both included about 15 official death certificates, just in case.

 

[Walt34]

My family doesn't have the memorial gene. Dad told me to scatter his ashes over his favorite fishing grounds in Jamaica Bay.

The guy who taught me to fly an airplane in 1975 obtained his commercial pilot's license when he was 17 or 18. He said his first commercial flying job was to take a guy out over Chesapeake Bay so he could dump the ashes of a recently departed relative. The airplane was a Piper J-3 Cub and can be flown with the door and window open so it is easy to do in that airplane.

The photo shows one with the window and door open. In the summer it is nice to fly it that way.

 

[Crewer]

Not trying to hijack but here's an alternative - donate your body to a med school. In my mother's case the med school said you could choose to have ashes returned to the family or they would bury them in a local cemetery. We had a memorial service for her long before the ashes got back. She would have been happy since she was so proud of taking care of the donation paperwork before she died. Oddly enough, the probate file could not be opened for her estate without a funeral home bill so I had to get a special letter from the med school saying they accepted the body at no charge and no funeral home was used. I also made a $500 or $1000 donation to the med school.

 

[athena53]

DH and I looked into donation when he was terminal but they said they don't accept emaciated bodies; poor DH was over 6 feet tall and weighed 117 at his last doctor's visit. They also want all organs intact except possibly the corneas, so a body with donated organs might not be acceptable.

One oddball donation that might appeal to some people is the body farm in Tennessee; they leave corpses out in various conditions to observe stages of decay. The research helps coroners better determine time of death when a body is found. Not for me, but I'm glad some people are willing.

 

[Koolau]

Slightly off topic but we have encountered quite a cultural shift to the whole funeral process in the Islands. "Viewings" are much less common in the Islands and immediate cremation is very common. So "memorials" tend to be the rule - often 3 to 4 weeks following death. Flowers are typically provided by the family - not the friends. Following most memorials (or in some cases, burial service), the family provides a "spread" (typically catered). These spreads tend to be rather elaborate and quantities are copious. So because the family encounters significant expense (beyond the typical funeral expenses) the custom in the Islands is for friends to send or bring a sympathy card with a check or cash inside.

 

[Koolau]

The guy who taught me to fly an airplane in 1975 obtained his commercial pilot's license when he was 17 or 18. He said his first commercial flying job was to take a guy out over Chesapeake Bay so he could dump the ashes of a recently departed relative. The airplane was a Piper J-3 Cub and can be flown with the door and window open so it is easy to do in that airplane.

The photo shows one with the window and door open. In the summer it is nice to fly it that way.

A pilot friend of mine was telling about giving a J-3 ride to a another pilot friend - more used to flying "modern" aircraft. At altitude the pilot told his friend to stick his hand out the window and watch the indicated air speed. With hand out the window, the indicated air speed dropped over 5 mph. YMMV

Now returning you to our regularly scheduled program.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

The only experience I have had with this is with my Mom (technically Grandmother, but she raised me, so she was DM) and she had a pre-paid direct cremation. If I recall, the total cost was about $500...but it was the cremation and a card board box..that's it. My DD has the same plan and that is exactly what they wanted.

My DM told a story of when her Dad died the undertaker told her that a particular casket had a 20 year warranty and she stumped him when she asked if anyone had ever filed a claim. So, even back in the late 50's and early 60's, funerals were a big 'ole racket (at least in her eyes) and she was 100% against spending a significant amount of money disposing of what she deemed essentially carbon-based waste.

As far as I am concerned, I don't care what is done with my remains. I would prefer to not be pumped with chemicals and stuffed into a metal box and once considered cremation to be the best choice. Today, "green" burials (I prefer to call it old-western style) are catching on...so basically the remains are put in a burlap bag or pine coffin and you are buried in a large field with no markers...just wild flowers. That's my style and around here, it's about $1,000.

 

[athena53]

My grandfather retired to FL but had lived in Ohio his entire adult life before that. He was adamant that his remains not be embalmed in FL but shipped to Ohio and cared for the local funeral home the family had always used. Not sure how they managed it or what it cost but Grandpa got what he wanted and is at rest next to his first wife, my Grandma.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

My grandfather retired to FL but had lived in Ohio his entire adult life before that. He was adamant that his remains not be embalmed in FL but shipped to Ohio and cared for the local funeral home the family had always used. Not sure how they managed it or what it cost but Grandpa got what he wanted and is at rest next to his first wife, my Grandma.

Not sure how long ago that was, but I am fairly certain that today it would be difficult to transport remains across state lines without embalming.

 

[meierlde]

Slightly off topic but we have encountered quite a cultural shift to the whole funeral process in the Islands. "Viewings" are much less common in the Islands and immediate cremation is very common. So "memorials" tend to be the rule - often 3 to 4 weeks following death. Flowers are typically provided by the family - not the friends. Following most memorials (or in some cases, burial service), the family provides a "spread" (typically catered). These spreads tend to be rather elaborate and quantities are copious. So because the family encounters significant expense (beyond the typical funeral expenses) the custom in the Islands is for friends to send or bring a sympathy card with a check or cash inside.

Actually with families being spread out world wide now, it makes sense to go direct cremation, and have a memorial service when folks can put the travel arrangements together. More likley to get extended family, and make the memorial service also a family reunion. (I suspect that many folks on the Island have family on the mainland and this makes the travel arrangements easier also.

 

[Koolau]

Actually with families being spread out world wide now, it makes sense to go direct cremation, and have a memorial service when folks can put the travel arrangements together. More likley to get extended family, and make the memorial service also a family reunion. (I suspect that many folks on the Island have family on the mainland and this makes the travel arrangements easier also.

Yeah, I didn't mention that this was most of the reason for the long delay. Even burials are often 3 or 4 weeks post death. This is not a problem because of modern techniques of body handling/embalming (It is obviously more expensive than cremation.) Best friend on the Island just buried her mom a few months back. The delay time was over 3 weeks and, you are right, it was so folks could get there (finish up school or get good fares, etc. etc.) In the Islands, it's not just the mainland US that folks tend to travel from. We have lots of folks with family in Japan, China, Australia, the Samoas, RP, etc., etc. Getting folks to the Island for funerals can be a logistical nightmare - not to mention trying to put folks up. We have hosted people in our spare bedroom who traveled to Island funerals. We didn't really know them - just the family. It's considered the Island Way. YMMV