+2
For example, I moved here from Baton Rouge. All of my friends there told me that making friends in New Orleans is nearly impossible. The reasons they gave were that New Orleanians are so insular and most have lived here all of their lives (as have their families for generations) and are suspicious of outsiders.
That's true! But that doesn't make it impossible to make friends, even here, and most of my present friends are from these same old-time New Orleanian families.
Here's the
"W2R time tested method" for making friends in a new location. I was a Navy wife and developed this over years of moving. For me this method works like a charm, every time:
1.) You have to regularly spend time around people who are likely to be compatible. Group activities doing something you like to do can be a good start (book club? church? amateur sports? Dancing? Knitting? Whatever you really like). The point is that you aren't going to meet anybody if you are sitting at home all lonely and bummed out - - you have to get OUT there. I usually devote all of each weekend to doing this, whether I want to or not, when I am trying to find friends in a new location. And then, do my grocery shopping, laundry, etc, during the week after I get off work. Exhausting! But having friends is worth some effort.
2.) Then, don't be extremely picky. Sure, stay away from the axe murderers and serial killers, but other friends that are just sort of "OK" can introduce you to more people who you will probably like better.
3.) Also realize that not everyone has room in their lives for yet another friend (even if they like you), and don't take it personally if someone has no interest in starting up a friendship. Keep up the effort.
Using this method I had a dozen or so casual friends within a month, and I met Frank four months after I moved here. At that point I felt I had enough friends so I stopped working so hard to make new friendships.
P.S. - - as for the veneer of social or polite behavior, often that's just local custom and IMO it won't necessarily help you to find compatible friends. They may act one way, but be thinking another way.
