Couples - What do you fight about most?

[timo2]

Aspects of our personalities that were not fully apparent to each other while we spent all of our time at work. Now we are around each other all the time.

 

[mountainsoft]

Wow, I'm impressed with those of you who say you don't fight. We don't do it much these days, but early in our marriage we had a lot of real ugly doozies. If it wasn't for make-up sex, I don't know we would have survived.

 

[DrRoy]

She thinks that I regularly call her out for being wrong about something, but I think that I nearly always let it go.

 

[iloveyoga]

Very rarely too here. We have been together and married a long time and we have had fights and I really hate it. So we have learned and now it very rarely happens which is fine with me.

 

[Music Lover]

We have never had a fight...but then again we've only been together for 2 years.

But seriously, we both think we hit the jackpot with each other. We agree on all the major issues and the minor ones are not important enough to worry about or argue about.

 

[Nemo2]

We have never had a fight...but then again we've only been together for 2 years.

But seriously, we both think we hit the jackpot with each other. We agree on all the major issues and the minor ones are not important enough to worry about or argue about.

That pretty much sums it up for us, other than the fact it's been 16 1/4 years on our part.

 

[Philliefan33]

We don’t fight, but we annoy each other sometimes. Too much time together can be a bad thing.

 

[jfn111]

Funny to say on an ER forum but the only thing we really fight about is me working to much. I have always felt that when someone entrusts me to help them buy or sell a house I need to be responsive to them. She hates it when I take a phone call when were out shopping.
I should add that she's much better at this retirement thing then I am.

 

[PatrickA5]

It's been a long time since we've had a real argument about anything. Things that would have bothered me 20 years ago don't seem to matter much anymore. I think we both let minor issues slide. I'm sure we say/do things that annoy the other person, but we're pretty good at ignoring stuff. Happily married 40+ years.

 

[pacergal]

It's been a long time since we've had a real argument about anything. Things that would have bothered me 20 years ago don't seem to matter much anymore. I think we both let minor issues slide. I'm sure we say/do things that annoy the other person, but we're pretty good at ignoring stuff. Happily married 40+ years.

+1, same here.
We have really good friends who've been married just as long as we and they have really knock down, drag out, yelling, throwing things, fights. Their marriage has survived, thrived and they truly love each other.

Everyone is different and resolves problems their own way!

 

[ShokWaveRider]

My DW says when chatting to her friends; "I pick my Battles", she has picked wisely for over 32 years and counting.

BTW, we have had joint accounts for everything ever since we were married. Again, She tells her friends if they ever comment on it, and if it comes up; "If I have to sit on the floor, he has to sit with me, and he will never want to sit on the floor".

We only know one couple that have separate accounts, He is a control freak and she is very timid, he upsets her a lot, but she rarely fights with him, she just gets upset. I know this is not a real measurement and nothing is implied. But 99% of our "closer" friends have joint assets, only 1 does not.

 

[Dalmore]

27 years of marriage and no real fights. Of course once in a while we snip at each other, usually due to being frustrated with work or just hangry. I never saw my parents fight, so I never learned how to do it. I am very aware of the idea of "once spoken, it can never be unspoken", and actively avoid situations where something could be spoken in anger.

 

[MrsHaloFIRE]

Unfortunately, DH refuses to argue except approx once a decade. I like to try to argue about household chores. No dice.

 

[Rianne]

It's all about who's right. I'm 100% right, until he proves me wrong and visa versa.

 

[Aerides]

We are also in the "never really fight" category. But that's probably because neither of our personalities are good for that.

I know when I'm upset I can flare up too much, and usually remove myself. That was the case at work (far more likely to get pissed off there!) and at home. Take a step outside, calm down, replay the 30 seconds that set me off, think about what I want to say before I make it worse, etc.

DH also flares up but at silly things (like the TV or a game or something) but it's over and done. Explode for 2 seconds then back to normal. I know well enough to leave him alone when he's annoyed at something else. He knows that if he explodes on me, that 2 seconds is going to be expensive in all the ways.

But we don't push each others buttons, and neither of us want or need to.

Now, we bicker: I pick way-too-expensive hotels, he would prefer to always stay home, I cater to our cats too much, he has no idea how to clean a toilet, I sneeze very loudly, he drives too aggressively, but we balance these things out.

 

[FlaGator]

With late DW, there was periodically at lot of tension and tears. Poor communication skills with both of us.

Learned from that, and I'm making sure there is nothing significant with the fiancé'.

Only point of tension so far has been her up-to-now slow pace of unwinding various joint financial arrangements with her ex. It's now understood they will all be resolved before our spring wedding.

 

[mountainsoft]

It's all about who's right. I'm 100% right, until he proves me wrong and visa versa.

I have no problem admitting when something is my fault. Heck, I apologize even when things aren't my fault. My wife is the opposite, she almost never apologizes for anything and will defend her ground even if she is wrong. If I have a problem with something she did, I better have good evidence and a well planned delivery. So, I try to avoid arguments because she's really good at it and I almost never win.

 

[Rianne]

Heck, I apologize even when things aren't my fault. My wife is the opposite, she almost never apologizes for anything and will defend her ground even if she is wrong. If I have a problem with something she did, I better have good evidence and a well planned delivery. So, I try to avoid arguments because she's really good at it and I almost never win.

Hahahaha. Somehow that sounds familiar too. Something about the way the female mind works. We're masters at detail.

 

[jollystomper]

Wow, I'm impressed with those of you who say you don't fight. We don't do it much these days, but early in our marriage we had a lot of real ugly doozies. If it wasn't for make-up sex, I don't know we would have survived.

We fought a lot when we were younger. By the 10th year of our marriage we were openly talking about want to have affairs with other people and divorce. Fortunately we decided we wanted the marriage to be better than the both of us and sought guidance and counseling. That really fixed our root communication issues, and is a big factor why we are more in love, still together, and tough have some differences really do not fight.

 

[kgtest]

Many disagreements, rarely much disrespect. We "collaborate" over short term financing needs and strategy, who will do the kids baths, and what is appropriate and what is not lol.

The kids have learned some new words from these character building sessions. Life is Good!

 

[Lsbcal]

Well once I kicked the refrigerator during a heated argument brought on by our 3 year old kid. He is getting married this year so the new refrigerator is happy.

We just get into somewhat heated discussions. I have to try to stop before it gets into an argument. We agree on politics but she gets more emotional and rants which she now knows turns me off. So we keep it at a low simmer.

 

[JoeWras]

I guess it depends on the definition of "fight." It is more about disagreements with DW and I. And we have NEVER, EVER gone to bed angry or not talking. Any problem is resolved before end of day.

Now, I have to tell you it is true everyone does things differently. One couple I know that completely surprised me constantly aired their disagreements in public. And I mean to the point of making everyone a bit uncomfortable. No swearing or anything, but more along the lines of: "You are totally wrong about that and I won't take no for an answer."

This couple was our pastor-in-training at the church. Which made it even more surreal. But they let everyone know that's the way they live, and it works for them. It must, they've been together over 15 years.

 

[CaliKid]

We don't really fight. We occasionally don't see eye to eye on an issue but generally speaking we both find it's not necessary to fight. #BFF

 

[travelover]

She demands sex twice a day and, frankly, some days I'm just not up to it.

 

[Jeffman52]

We are also in the "never really fight" category. But that's probably because neither of our personalities are good for that.

But we don't push each others buttons, and neither of us want or need to.

Now, we bicker: I pick way-too-expensive hotels, he would prefer to always stay home, I cater to our cats too much, he has no idea how to clean a toilet, I sneeze very loudly, he drives too aggressively, but we balance these things out.

That's kinda where my wife and I are. We dont 'fight'. We don't even bicker often. Lately its this. I like my Classic Rock LOUD and I prefer not to wear headphones.. The loud music annoys her and I get the "Sweetie will you turn that down?" (that means turn it off). On the other hand she likes the TV louder than I do (probably some hearing loss) which sends me over the edge cause she just told me to turn my music down or off LOL.


She does NOT like it when I have a few too many adult beverages. It doesn't happen often but when it does, I'm fine... but she will give me the silent treatment. I respect that and 97% of the time, I order water for the rest of the night rather than that next adult beverage. The 3% of the time she has nothing to say to me.