Getting depressed about illnesses and deaths

We are in the final fourth leg of our fourth trip to Italy. We are doing the undiscovered places of Bari and Palermo, in addition to revisiting Rome and Sorrento and the Amalfi coast.

We struggled with whether we could do it but are glad we did. "If not now, when?"

So I suggest to fill your time with plans and push out the dwelling on current things. It is bound to improve your "Esprit d'anima". It did for us.
 
Koolau said:
We rarely speak of "faith" or "spirituality" here as it tends toward discussions of "religion" which is verboten. But some of us believe that this isn't "all there is." That helps a lot.

We all experience loss, health decline and death. Not much we can do about it but change our attitudes about it. I fear pain/illness much more than death. I don't think a lot about any of it - except as I watch my cancer scans, feel my back pain and see my good friends pass away.

As Jimmy Buffet sang "... still 24 hours/maybe 60 good years/it's really not that long a stay."


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Very nicely said!! Thanks, Koolau and I wish you the very best.

If we would all concentrate on the real important things in life, there would be a shortage of fishing rods.
 
I retired at 55, DW retired a couple years later. We sold the house, bought a motorhome and traveled until we bought the cabin a couple years ago. We were fortunate to find a hidden paradise in the mountains. Great community, people around our ages, beautiful weather, etc.
A good friend told me when I first retired that we only have so many "good" years left so enjoy them as well as we can. I think we did a pretty good job. Yes we spent more of our retirement funds than we probably should have. But we have great memories and our funds have held up well enough that we should be fine going forward.
Living at 9400' altitude is not easy but we believe it is good for our cardiovascular and pulmonary health. Much better here than spending summers sitting in air conditioning back in Louisiana.
I've lost a few dear friends in the past couple years, mostly they were in their early 80's. Yes it hurts to lose them but that only reminds me to enjoy today. Thankfully DW and I are pretty healthy so far and can enjoy each day.
When you lose a dear friend think of the joy they brought you and not the loss.
 
I KNOW I'm getting older (currently 73) but that fact never fully registered in my brain stem until I had prostate issues. A Super, giant, economy sized prostate (which I had been ignoring for 2-yrs) that caused bleeding..lots of bleeding starting last May resulting in wearing a catheter for 9-weeks, 4-trips to the ER to first get and then change a blood clot blocked catheter, a minor surgical procedure to ease the blood clots resulting in a 2-night stay in the hospital and finally the prostate surgery itself on July 31 resulting in 2-weeks in the hospital when part of my gut failed to wake up (it was supposed to be one night). The most recent surgery and hospitalization prior to all of that was in 1965 for an appendectomy when I was 14..nearly 60-yrs ago. That last experience slapped me upside the head and made me hyper-aware of my mortality.
 
aja8888 said:
I just turned 80 yesterday and last December buried my wife. Two weeks ago, I had to put down my dog of many years (my best buddy, actually). I have buried, a daughter, my parents, and a younger sister. I gave up going "home" as most of my friends are dead and one really close friend from childhood is in a dementia ward. Two years ago, my golf partner had a stroke and died within 6 months.

I've come to realize leaving here is part of life (but not a fun part). Am I depressed? Yeah, I think so, but I just keep plugging along and I still have one daughter and some local friends. But one thing I am doing is getting my personal "stuff" in order so that when it's my turn, I won't leave behind a big mess for my daughter to sort through.
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Inspiring. Thanks.
 
I'm seeing it as well after retiring early in my early sixties. Looking forward to seeing what responses you get.
 
There was a very large research study published recently by the University of Cambridge that basically said the best way to prevent depression is a healthy lifestyle.
By examining data from almost 290,000 people -- of whom 13,000 had depression -- followed over a nine-year period, the team was able to identify seven healthy lifestyle factors linked with a lower risk of depression. These were:

moderate alcohol consumption
healthy diet
regular physical activity
healthy sleep
never smoking
low-to-moderate sedentary behaviour
frequent social connection
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The biggest factor was simply having a good night's sleep -- between seven and nine hours a night. The second biggest was frequent social connection.
 
braumeister said:
There was a very large research study published recently by the University of Cambridge that basically said the best way to prevent depression is a healthy lifestyle.


The biggest factor was simply having a good night's sleep -- between seven and nine hours a night. The second biggest was frequent social connection.
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I seem to have all of that going on except for social connections with a female and a dog (not one and the same).
 
braumeister said:
There was a very large research study published recently by the University of Cambridge that basically said the best way to prevent depression is a healthy lifestyle.


The biggest factor was simply having a good night's sleep -- between seven and nine hours a night. The second biggest was frequent social connection.
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I wonder if that is uninterrupted sleep or does that count bathroom trips? :) If a good nights sleep means no bathroom trips, some of us haven't had a good nights sleep in years (maybe decades)
 
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Well I don't have a reputation of being a liar, and I'm not dead, yet. :)

Unfortunately I can almost guarantee I'll need to get up "at least" one more time than usual tonight. Always happens when I have adult beverages and stay up to watch evening playoff games. Dang Astros!
 
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Car-Guy said:
Well I don't have a reputation of being a liar, and I'm not dead, yet. :)

Unfortunately I can almost guarantee I'll need to get up at least one more time than usual tonight. Always happens when I have adult beverages and stay up to watch evening playoff games. Dang Astros!
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The "other" Texas team (MLB) is doing well also!
 
Yes they are... Hope this turns into a Astros/Ranger AL pennant series. Could happen tonight.
 
Sorry for derailing this thread but it's exciting (not depressing) for us Texans to have two Texas teams in contention in the MLB playoffs.

Now back to the original subject matter for this thread.
 
I wake up every 2 hours because something hurts so I need to switch sides. Frequently I then go to the bathroom because if I have to go at all it’s difficult to fall back asleep. I used to sleep straight through the night or maybe wake up once until 3 years ago. It sucks!!
 
Car-Guy said:
I wonder if that is uninterrupted sleep or does that count bathroom trips? :) If a good nights sleep means no bathroom trips, some of us haven't had a good nights sleep in years (maybe decades)
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I bet getting up to go to the bathroom during the night doesn’t count against sleep if you go right back to sleep like DH does. You might just need to sleep a few minutes longer.

We use our watches to track our sleep these days. It’s quite informative. It tracks time in REM (dreaming), core and deep sleep. It also tracks if you wake up during the night.
 
audreyh1 said:
I bet getting up to go to the bathroom during the night doesn’t count against sleep if you go right back to sleep like DH does. You might just need to sleep a few minutes longer.

We use our watches to track our sleep these days. It’s quite informative. It tracks time in REM (dreaming), core and deep sleep. It also tracks if you wake up during the night.
Click to expand...

When I get up at night to go to the bathroom, my Fitbit records those few minutes as "awake", which I am. Those minutes are counted as awake minutes in the overall summary for the sleep period. REM, restless, deep, awake, etc are all summarized for the night's sleeping period.
 
One of my docs says it is normal to wake up every 2-hrs (+/-). He counts rolling over as waking up. He added that most fall back asleep almost immediately. Since my prostate surgery I'm making fewer trips 'down the hall' (about every 3-hrs, +/-) and falling back asleep more quickly (usually).
 
aja8888 said:
When I get up at night to go to the bathroom, my Fitbit records those few minutes as "awake", which I am. Those minutes are counted as awake minutes in the overall summary for the sleep period. REM, restless, deep, awake, etc are all summarized for the night's sleeping period.
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Yes, same with our watches. I don’t normally get up to use the restroom, but I’ll still have some nights where I’ll wake up for a minute or two 2 or 3 times. During the night. Those awake minutes are shown on the graph.
 
latexman said:
So, after really bad news, I morn, cry, grieve, and celebrate (their) lives with the best of them. Then, I do my best to seek out things that cheer me up.
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Just yesterday we got the news that a family friend I have known since she was a little girl lost her Daughter. She was mid 30s, and had a 7YO daughter herself. Last time I had seen her (the Daughter) was at her Husbands funeral in January.
My only advice is to find acceptance in that its a fact of life.
 
old medic said:
Just yesterday we got the news that a family friend I have known since she was a little girl lost her Daughter. She was mid 30s, and had a 7YO daughter herself. Last time I had seen her (the Daughter) was at her Husbands funeral in January.
My only advice is to find acceptance in that its a fact of life.
Click to expand...


Loosing my little Sis at 40 was tough. It just about ruined my mom. That's just not "supposed" to happen - but it does.
 
Learned recently that my sister has early-onset. She's 70. but I always think of her as 13. Her attitude is positive but realistic.
 
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