Preparing To Saying Goodbye To Your Pet

How does one go about saying goodbye to a pet?

I'm pretty sure in that position now.

One of my cats, the sweetest animal I've ever met is not in good shape.

Among other things, looks like he has a bad heart. He's due for an test on Tuesday to see how extensive his heart is.

My feeling is he may have a couple of months, if that.

I have an empty feeling like when knowing the end is coming for people who are not well. Crisis, tests, hope, false hope.

So going back to the title, how does one emotionally say goodbye?

The best advice I've heard is from a long-time dog breeder. Her process aims to ensure she can say goodbye a day too-soon than a day too-late.

We've had two too-lates with our dogs and it is such an extra burden to be in acute crisis mode and then having to throw in the towel. We've had two more where we were able to be in a much more calm place when the end came. It was easier on all of us.

One thing to consider if you're able to plan ahead, it may be possible to arrange things so that last act of love can take place in your home. Again, that's more comfortable and peaceful than needing to visit a vet's office.

Best of luck with your decision,
Chris
 
I wrote an obit for mine during weeks before she passed from heart issues. It helped my process the inevitable. I worked on it often and loved her every day. Here is Katlin's story (posted on social media):

In 2008, I drove to Murfreesboro, TN, to meet a Corgi I later named Katlin. A Craigslist Ad stated that she was found by MTSU students on July 4th . . . frightened and running from fireworks. It also said they only wanted to find her owner. No one else need to reply.

Weeks later, a different Ad appeared. It read, “We have not found the owner of this sweet girl, so we need to find her a home. There is no fee, but the person we select must convince us that he/she will provide the forever home she deserves. If you feel you’re that person, please email and tell us why.”

So, I wrote the girls (4 college roommates who already had a dog each). A few days later, I received a call that I could meet her. There were no promises. They had already turned down two interested persons.

That night, I was welcomed inside and waited in their living room. Katlin strolled in, then came over, nudged my leg and lay down beside me. We spent a little time together. Then, I heard one girl tell the others, “I believe he is the one.”

Katlin calmly rode home with me. We bonded almost immediately. We’ve played together. Sometimes, she jumped in bed with me. We enjoyed life together. We were best friends.

Last night, she rested in my lap and slept on my bed. This morning, she got a drink of water and laid down on her favorite rug in my den. She peacefully passed at 14 years old. Kind of perfect, but still painfully sad.
I will always love you, Katlin.

PS - I got another furry friend to love within four weeks. She's resting under my desk as I write this.
 
They always break your heart sooner or later. This dog is going to be especially hard because I don't expect to be able to care for another with my current health problems. Time will make it easier.
 
My dear friend Harry, my soulmate dog, left me in April of 2021. I'd found him in the high desert 15 years before, and on the long ride home I told him, "You and me, Harry." I said we'd be companions of the road and have adventures together.

I knew we were near the end when he stopped eating. Two friends of his joined me in the garden, where he'd spent so much time, and a very kind vet was there to administer euthanasia. We spread a large towel over a table, and set his dog bed on it, and stood around him comfortingly. I told Harry what a fine job he'd done, always protecting the homestead, and that it was all right for him to leave. I looked into his dear face and said, "Tell them you were beloved on the Earth."

One of our two friends brought a box of tissues -- because however this happens you will be doing a lot of crying. Afterward, I lay awake many nights wondering if I'd timed it wrong, or if there were some arrangement of things I should have done differently. (Like: "It was so hard to get him to take his meds. I should have prioritized the ones to stimulate appetite! Then maybe he would have taken more of the others!" Etc.)

Much later I read that this is a fairly normal reaction that many people have. The difficult part for me, longer term, has been the small daily habits he was part of. It took a while to get used to that. No more morning adventures walking the hills. No more before-bed walk to the curve of the hill to look at the stars. Just: no more.

All we can do is go on and hope that we'll meet again. The pain is absolutely worth it, for having had him in my life.
 
Yes it is and always will be. It's good to live with dogs. Good for the dogs and good for us.

I like the native American fable;

When the "great father" decided to separate man from animals he created a divide, a split in the earth that grew farther and farther apart and then at the last minute before it was too late the dogs jumped over to be with man.
 
I love that story! And it's a good representation of our partnership. Dogs traveled with us over tens of thousands of years as we migrated around the globe; warned us of danger in the night, joined in hunting. I remember a scene in one of the Little House books -- which were based on true stories from Laura Ingalls's life -- in which the father sees another family of homesteaders in a wagon heading west, and tells his daughters afterward how foolish they are. "They'll never make it. They don't have a dog!"
 
I am so very sorry. I know how incredibly difficult this is. I just spent 9 days deciding to say goodbye to my beloved 15 y/o dog three days ago. My Vet had been telling to watch his quality of life and that would let me know. He used to love going for walks, running as an old man, socializing, etc. I realized in past 4-6 weeks he just wasn't getting joy out of activities he used to. Then in past 2-3 weeks his world really narrowed with my Vet confirming it sounded like it was time. Absolutely one of the hardest decisions of my life but I did not want him to suffer because I wasn't sure. Several of my friends had been through this before with their animals and every single one of them said their biggest regret was not doing it sooner for their pet. I used a mobile Vet that my Vet recommended to come to the home on Sunday evening. They were immensely kind, compassionate, and respectful, and gave me all the time I needed. My dog passed peacefully in my arms. Incredibly hard, and very emotional but I gave him the best goodbye possible.
 
It's pretty common, unfortunately. We have spent about $10,000 over the last 18 months dealing with various issues with our 3 (two of which are senior and one of which is no longer with us) and I am very thankful we have the means to get them the best care when needed. I often think that our animals have gotten better medical care than at least 50% of the world's human population.

I'm sure you've heard of the $6 Million Dollar Man. My cat will be the $60K cat. Well, not that much but seems the vet bills .... ouch!
 
I used to call my daughters cat the $10K cat but he's way beyond that now.
She won't tell me how much but at least once a year he's rushed to the emergency vet in the middle of the night for his latest health crisis. I'd guess it has to be at least $25K by now, probably a lot more but he's her baby and they will pay anything to keep him alive. I can't think of how many times I've said my final goodbye to him and then he miraculously gets better the day they're going to have him PTS.
He's 13 now and she's due to deliver her first baby in two days, if this event doesn't trigger another crisis for him, nothing will.
 
Easysurfer: Wonderful news about your cat's heart! I was tearing up thru this thread and then got to your update post!

This thread is a tribute to all of our dear pet family members. We have all lost and felt the pain and large hole we experience when our beloved pets have to leave.

Gus, my large, handsome 24 pound schnauzer will turn 8 in September. He is my 5th from the same breeder. None have made it past 13 years of age. I am already dreading it.
Gus has had more of my attention than the others because with the others there were children in the house and I was working. He has been my constant companion, never boarded and I honestly don't leave him for more than 4 to 5 hours (max is 6 hours) if I can help it. He goes with me back and forth to bay front condo where he greets all his people and doggie friends and is so happy to see them!
I am already dreading year 10 as that is the year most things start to happen.
 
In 2004 I got my first dog as a adult and my life has changed for the better. Many rescue dogs have claimed me and most years I always had 4. Now living in a condo I have 2 and have pet insurance so I can provide them with great medical care. I know cats provide just as much joy but I am super allergic to them.
 
Hugs and best wishes. It's never easy and you just know. Also think that while you say goodbye to one dearly beloved friend, a new one will join you. i Just had one join me
 
I don’t think it is possible to read this thread with dry eyes.

Easy surfer, I am so glad to read that your cat is going to be okay.
 
I don’t think it is possible to read this thread with dry eyes.

Easy surfer, I am so glad to read that your cat is going to be okay.

Yes, DW asked me what was wrong. I showed her this thread and then had to pass the box of Kleenex. We haven't had a pet for several years now due to our crazy travel schedule. We miss the sharing of love that pets bring us.
 
Easysurfer: Wonderful news about your cat's heart! I was tearing up thru this thread and then got to your update post!

This thread is a tribute to all of our dear pet family members. We have all lost and felt the pain and large hole we experience when our beloved pets have to leave.

Gus, my large, handsome 24 pound schnauzer will turn 8 in September. He is my 5th from the same breeder. None have made it past 13 years of age. I am already dreading it.
Gus has had more of my attention than the others because with the others there were children in the house and I was working. He has been my constant companion, never boarded and I honestly don't leave him for more than 4 to 5 hours (max is 6 hours) if I can help it. He goes with me back and forth to bay front condo where he greets all his people and doggie friends and is so happy to see them!
I am already dreading year 10 as that is the year most things start to happen.


I had a miniature schnauzer who died in May 2021 at the age of 15 years and 3 months.
Charlie weighed about 25 lbs. but was big for his breed not overweight.
He was just the best little buddy and I miss him dearly.
I never boarded him either- my mom or my sister stayed with him on the few occasions I was away.
 
Skillet cat is gone

We lost our cat, Ramona, to cancer today. She was a tiny little thing (6 lbs.) and totally deaf from birth, but she was full of life and her antics made us smile every day. Of all the cats we have had, she was the one who was closest to me rather than the young wife. I will miss her dearly.
 

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So sorry for you loss. I lost mine due to cancer in December and still not over it really.

She looks so cute trying to squeeze in a place she doesn't quite fit.
 
We lost our cat, Ramona, to cancer today. She was a tiny little thing (6 lbs.) and totally deaf from birth, but she was full of life and her antics made us smile every day. Of all the cats we have had, she was the one who was closest to me rather than the young wife. I will miss her dearly.
My condolences. Pets our a huge part of our lives as well, know how it feels.
 
I’m sorry for your loss. Ramona was a beautiful kitty. I’m sure she had a great life with you and your wife.
 
Gumby, that is a tough deal losing a pet. You gave her a good home and life and that what counts.
 
We lost our cat, Ramona, to cancer today. She was a tiny little thing (6 lbs.) and totally deaf from birth, but she was full of life and her antics made us smile every day. Of all the cats we have had, she was the one who was closest to me rather than the young wife. I will miss her dearly.

:'(:'(:'(
 
I have sometimes cried more over the loss of a pet than over friends who have died. It's horribly difficult. You just have to cherish all the good memories.
 
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