Preparing To Saying Goodbye To Your Pet

[easysurfer]

How does one go about saying goodbye to a pet?

I'm pretty sure in that position now.

One of my cats, the sweetest animal I've ever met is not in good shape.

Among other things, looks like he has a bad heart. He's due for an test on Tuesday to see how extensive his heart is.

My feeling is he may have a couple of months, if that.

I have an empty feeling like when knowing the end is coming for people who are not well. Crisis, tests, hope, false hope.

So going back to the title, how does one emotionally say goodbye?

 

[harllee]

I am so sorry. I had to go through this a few years ago with my sweet dog and it was like losing a member of the family, I had him for 16 years. But the dog was having health problems and his quality of life was going down and I actually should have done it earlier. I know some people get another pet soon but I have not done that. I still dream about him several years later. I really don't have a lot of good advice, you will have grief and it will just take time. Do you have a spouse or family member or friend to talk to? As I look back on it, it was a kind thing to do for my dog as he was in pain and I did not want him to suffer, so you can look at it that way.

 

[badatmath]

It is horrible. But honestly my cat was diagnosed with heart problems and did well for years on meds. Don't even think he knew he was "sick". What eventually got him was cancer. I still miss him every day. I would make sure you see specialists if you can and not just "regular" vets. Not to say many are not wonderful, but I wanted to know I had done every single thing I could because he was worth it and it is my job as a pet parent. Also, remember a day too early to have them go is better than a day too late. You don't want them to suffer. he never minded the meds either. Thought pill pockets were awesome.

 

[RunningBum]

It's really hard. I always feel that in return for the companionship over the years I owe it to them to not keep them suffering when the end gets near.

I have about a 40 minute drive to my vet, and I've never had a cat that liked riding in a car. The last cat I had to put down, I spent the drive putting her through a flap in her carrier, and reminiscing out loud about our lives together. It seemed to help her, probably because she was responding to how it helped me.

 

[Born2BRetd]

There are services here where vets will come to your house to euthanize your pet. I wish I had known about that when I had to put my lab down. My current lab is approaching 15 and slowing down. I'm not looking forward to losing her but I'm happy to know that when the time comes with this service she won't be stressed by a car ride to the vet.

 

[PaunchyPirate]

It's very, very hard to do. But it must be done when the pet's quality of life is not good. I spend time with them before going in to the vet and hold and comfort them in whatever way is acceptable by them. Say your good byes and talk to them about your time together. Comfort them that they will be in a better place.

At the vet, I'm hugely in favor of being in the room when it is time. I want to be there to be the last person they see as they fade off. Most vets seem to encourage this, but will handle it for you if you can't deal with it. Same thing, I say good bye and pet them until it is done.

I think the key is to keep talking to them through the entire process. That will be comforting to them and to you.

I'm a 60 year old man who has openly wept several times in the vet's office. It's OK.

Peace be with you and your kitty. Focus on your good times together and remember that he/she will be in a better place.

 

[MarieIG]

You make him as comfortable as possible, and spend as much time as you can with him. If he likes to sit on you/ likes his pets, give him that; along with his healthy treats.

When you love someone, you can't say goodbye w/o it hurting. You can just know you did your best for him.

 

[Pellice]

My vet said to me, "Better one week too early than one day too late." One thing I don't want to do is terrorize my pet's last year of life by seizing her and forcing medicine down her and having her be afraid and run from me, not understanding. If I can get the cat to be calm in some way, it would be ok. I am more conscious than ever that my cat and I are fellow mortals.

 

[GalaxyBoy]

Yes, it’s hard. I had to deal with the loss of my girl a few years ago. I miss her every day, but I deal with it by remembering her fondly and in that way keeping her alive in my heart. She was in decline those last few months with advanced kidney disease and it became clear she was in pain and it was time.

My boy is 15 and it can’t be too long now. I cherish him every time he sits in my lap.

My best to you.

 

[eytonxav]

It's very, very hard to do. But it must be done when the pet's quality of life is not good. I spend time with them before going in to the vet and hold and comfort them in whatever way is acceptable by them. Say your good byes and talk to them about your time together. Comfort them that they will be in a better place.

At the vet, I'm hugely in favor of being in the room when it is time. I want to be there to be the last person they see as they fade off. Most vets seem to encourage this, but will handle it for you if you can't deal with it. Same thing, I say good bye and pet them until it is done.

I think the key is to keep talking to them through the entire process. That will be comforting to them and to you.

I'm a 60 year old man who has openly wept several times in the vet's office. It's OK.

Peace be with you and your kitty. Focus on your good times together and remember that he/she will be in a better place.

+1 well said and although its hard, I definitely agree with being in the room with them. There are also groups to help get over a pets passing, but in my experience time is the only thing to help heal a loss.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

There are services here where vets will come to your house to euthanize your pet. I wish I had known about that when I had to put my lab down. My current lab is approaching 15 and slowing down. I'm not looking forward to losing her but I'm happy to know that when the time comes with this service she won't be stressed by a car ride to the vet.

We did this with our last furry companion. He was diagnosed with spleen cancer and the prognosis was very grim. There was a very high likelihood of a rupture and internal bleeding, so we scheduled the "rainbow bridge" transition to be done the following day.

The day before, he was treated like royalty (like most days, really) including some very tasty steak and other assorted treats. It was somewhat comforting to have him euthanized at home, especially since he WAS NOT a fan of the vet. I am sure the repeated trips in the previous months after knee surgery didn't help

Thankfully, the actual procedure wasn't stressful to the pup but it didn't suck any less for us, but not having to endure the walk through the vet and the drive home was a plus for us. It's been over a year and I still miss him fiercely. At just shy of 12 years old, that mutt really should have been around many more years. I have had 10+ animals in my life and he was my favorite...the perfect dog in almost every way.

The one previous to that was pretty old and had a lot of ailments. We scheduled his visit at the vet and wish it was done at home...for us. We also had a "day of spoils" the day prior. Some may think we did it a little early, but I am a proponent to "maybe a little early" as opposed to "too late." Incidentally, he also had heart failure and was on meds for several years and wasn't the ailment that necessitated his transition. He was the ONLY one where I wasn't in the room during the procedure. My rationale was that he had been there SO MANY times, it was old hat to him so it was just another visit to see his vet/vet tech friends. I thought that being the room (and boo hooing like a baby) would have been too stressful for him but I do regret this. I know he was in loving hands (the vet is a good friend of mine) and most likely didn't know any different, but I still feel like I let him down.

We also have another senior dog on heart meds that *shouldn't* still be around, be he is still rocking and rolling.

 

[easysurfer]

My cat also has bad hyperthyroidism. When talking with the vet and discussing the possible treatments for this, I know there is a cure with radioactive iodine. I was planning to go this route but when talking to the vet she said wait and see about the heart tests. I guess wouldn't make much sense the expense to cure thyroid problem only to have cat to die of a bad heart in 2 months or so.

My feeling is that she knows the results will not be good and the tests is just the formality to confirm.

It feels like the movie "The Pride of the Yankees" when Lou was not well, but the docs were saying, we need more tests.

Another part for me that I don't look forward to is I also have another cat who's a sibling. They've been together all their entire life. Probably soon there will be an emptiness not only for me, but for the other cat also.

 

[COcheesehead]

Our dog was recently killed at a doggie day care. The owners have been served with felony animal abuse charges. It’s been one of the hardest things we’ve had to live through.

 

[Aerides]

There are services here where vets will come to your house to euthanize your pet.

I will absolutely be taking this approach, as the trip to the vet is always horrible for me and my one cat that I can do this with.

I have (mainly) feral cats. I know that my goodbye won't happen with most of them. They are regular as clockwork for breakfast and dinner, and Mama and BooBoo come in every day and are sleeping in the living room right now. But I know one day, they will just stop coming, and I'll always wonder what happened. Or they'll show up sick/injured, and not let me near them. It will be incredibly difficult.

My 3 main ones are 10, 11, and 13+ (no idea how old exactly Mama is, but probably more like 14 or so. The youngest is my baby and is a total indoor cat by day, outdoor feral at night. She'll get the home vet treatment if I'm so lucky as to be able to help her. The others barely let me touch them if they are in the right mood, no way I'll get them in a carrier.

All I can do is be glad that I know, even if they don't, that they had longer happier lives with me than without. And then I will write big checks to rescue and TNR organizations in each of their names.

 

[Samething]

I’m so sorry. I lost my 16 year old Kitty in January. He was the sweetest little boy. He had been having manageable health problems for a while. It was so hard when he passed laying on my lap looking up at me with complete trust. I miss not having a pet in the house but for now I can’t. Maybe soon I’ll go to a shelter and save a life.

 

[skyking1]

There are services here where vets will come to your house to euthanize your pet. I wish I had known about that when I had to put my lab down. My current lab is approaching 15 and slowing down. I'm not looking forward to losing her but I'm happy to know that when the time comes with this service she won't be stressed by a car ride to the vet.

Our roomie does this, and is a sweet, kind, compassionate man.
Many times he evaluates the animal and situation, explains what is going on, and prescribes new medications and leaves, free of charge. He does right by the animal and sometimes the owners are a little early or they have not had good treatment or whatever.
He might end up back there several weeks or months later, or they do well.

 

[Midpack]

May sound stupid, but I've had one last one on one conversation with each of three dogs we had to have put down, two cancers, one encephalitis. I just thanked them for lifting our spirits every single day we were together, and I felt better.

And after they're gone I read this one more time. I leaves me very sad and very grateful at the same time.

Dog’s Prayer:

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world, is more grateful for kindness than mine.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for although I should lick your hand between blows, your patience and understanding will teach me more quickly the things you would have me do.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when I hear your step.

When the weather is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am a domesticated animal, no longer used to the bitter elements, and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I would not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.

Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding. To walk by your side, standing ready to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.

And master, when I am very old, if the greatest master sees fit to deprive me of my health and sight, do not turn me away. Rather see that my trusting life is taken gently and I shall leave you knowing with the last breath I draw, my life was always safe in your hand.

Beth Norman Harris

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

They say a pet will let you know when it's time and I believe that.

This was the last photo taken of my Baby in the parking lot before I took her in to be PTS.
She was 15, and had a thyroid condition for years and had wasted down to less than 3 pounds but was still as feisty as ever.

I think she was in the process of dying when I got up that morning and she was almost gone when I found her and started shaking her to try and wake her. She did eventually wake but the light in her eyes had faded, she was so weak, confused and couldn't stand on her own. She refused to eat which was unheard with this cat and I knew it was time so I sat and cuddled, talked and just held her for a few hours hoping she'd get better but to no avail.

Just love on your boy for as long as you can but don't let him suffer.
Good luck

 

[RobbieB]

Yup, when they stop eating, that's telling you there's not much time left. That's when I really start the tears as I know what's coming and what I have to do. There's weeks between when that starts and the upcoming "dreaded day" and that's when I pamper the crap out of them. Steak for supper, that kind of thing, lot's of pets and cuddling.

When the times comes to do it I am less sad. Dunno. Sucks anyway you look at it, still needs to be done.

 

[blueskyk]

I hold them and sob out my thanks and gratitude for making life so much better in their company.

We put down a big German Shepard about 7 years ago and I still remember watching DH grabbing up her 80 lbs to his chest after she breathed her last and with racking sobs declaring he couldn’t bear to do this again. I’ve never seen him so undone. It’s heartbreaking. The vet had a special room where we could hold and be with her on the floor during the injection and as long as we liked afterwards. After she was cremated we sprinkled her ashes and said a few words in the pasture where she used to lay next to the horses in their shadow as they grazed in a hot day.

6 months later he brought home a Golden Retriever so sooner than we like, we’ll do it all again.

Thanks and a painless end is our last gift to them.

“Dogs lives are too short, their only fault really.” Alice Singh

I think it applies to cats as well…best to you on this hard path.

 

[bobandsherry]

It's never easy, put our 16 year old Black Lab down 8 months ago.

We had a service where a vet came to our home. He was at peace and comfortable, friends stopped by to say their goodbye. The vet then tended to transport for cremation. While not easy it was still, IMHO, better than bringing him to a sterile environment like a vets office.

For us, it was easier for us to accept as we knew what we were doing was good for him. The alternative would be good for us with him suffering for our benefit.

 

[RobbieB]

Good for you guys! That's what I do for my departed pets too. Go to the shelter and give another dog a forever home -

After the grief subsides the pain of not having a dog overcomes the pain of loosing your dog and it's off to the shelter for another dog -

 

[Scrapr]

I'm crying now rembering Oden (Golden Retriever) that went over the Rainbow bridge a few years ago. We got the Dx of cancer in Portland. My wife passed 3 hours away in Bend & he needed to be there with her. We got a mobile vet to come to the house. It was beautiful. We sat out in the yard on a cool but sunny Fall day. I talked to him & held him for at least an hour. One of the neighbor kids came by to say goodbye. When the vet came we went inside & he passed peacefully. I lasted 2 months without another Golden.

 

[Silver]

I am sorry that you are going through this.

The most endearing words I know is that grief will have it's way with you. Try to understand that grief is telling you that the relationship lost was worth having, and honor that through your memories.

I have had many pets I have loved, and I have all of their ashes that will be combined with my ashes when I die. That comforts me.

 

[38Chevy454]

It's never easy, but try to take comfort in the fact you are doing the ultimate expression of love by ending their suffering. The pet will let you know when it's time. Even now i get a lump in my throat remembering going through it myself. Multiple times been there done that. Time helps the grief and good memories replace the hurting.